One of my favorite country song titles, supposedly real, is:
"Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life."
Let's make some up. I'll start:
"No branding iron ever hurt like the day you left me."
"My ten gallon hat ain't big enough to hold your heart."
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9 comments:
It's real, but not serious.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Bare
Bobby Bare recorded a number of goofy country western songs.
"There's a footprint on my heart that matches your size six shoe."
Tony Hawks (the comedian, rather than the skater) once wrote a country song titled 'You broke my heart like a bird's egg, but now the yolk's on you!'
Hehe.
RC, I like yours too.
Thanks, Bruce, I found it on utube.
How about "Daddy drinks because you cry" or "My train is leaving your tunnel of love"
But look to Jerry Reed for a classic like "She got the goldmine (I got the shaft)"
Here is a selection of terrible country music titles...
http://www.downstream.sk.ca/country1.htm
"It Only Hurts Me When I Cry" is a favorite of mine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10P2zDi4Qz0
Again, not serious.
And an all-time classic:-
"I've got tears in my ears from lyin' on my back in my bed as I cried over you."
Thanks for the awesome catalogue, Mik!
You Never Even Call Me By My Name
David Allen Coe
Well, it was all that I could do to keep from cryin'
Sometimes it seems so useless to remain
You don't have to call me darlin'...darlin'
You never even call me by my name.
Well, you don't have to call me Waylon Jennings
And you don't have to call me Charley Pride.
And you don't have to call me Merle Haggard, anymore.
Even though your on my fightin' side.
And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain.
You don't have to call me darlin'...darlin'
You never even call me by my name.
Well, I've heard my name a few times in your phone book
And I've seen it on signs where I've played But the only time I know I'll hear David Allan Coe
Is when Jesus has his final judgement day.
So I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain.
You don't have to call me darlin'...darlin'
You never even call me by my name.
SPOKEN:
Well, a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song, and he told me it was the perfect country-western song.
I wrote him back a letter and told him it was NOT the perfect country-western song, because he hadn't said anything at all about mama, or trains, or trucks, or prison, or gettin' drunk.
Well, he sat down and wrote another verse to the song and he sent it to me. And after reading it, I realized that my friend had written the perfect country-western song.
And I felt obliged to include it on this album. The last verse goes like this here:
Well, I was drunk the day my Mom got outta prison.
And I went to pick her up in the rain.
But, before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
She got runned over by a damned old train.
And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain. No,
You don't have to call me darlin'...darlin'
You never even call me
Well, I wonder why you don't call me
Why don't you ever call me by my name?
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