Pascal pointed me to a Roger Ebert article, and I was reminded of this, which I wrote a couple of years ago:
The world as it works in sitcoms
1: When people go to the other side of the room and turn their backs, you can no longer hear what they are saying.
2: When anybody states anything in a firm voice, that statement will immediately be disproved in an ironic way by somebody who happens to walk in at that exact moment.
3: When somebody's cousin visits from out of town, it is a sure bet that she is gorgeous and interesting.
4: When two lovers or friends have a spat, they will part for half an hour, and come back and both will completely have reversed their positions, and their relationship will be stronger than ever.
5: In a sitcom, if a loved one asks for your honest opinion about something even vaguely personal or controversial, you have to lie, even though manifold and painful experience have taught you that this will become a huge and complex drama and you'll have to tell the truth in the end anyway.
6: If a friend discovers that you have a physical abnormality, not only will everybody soon know about it and talk about it, but it will be of colossal importance to all of them.
7: If you have something that others would be interested in knowing about, it is important that you want to keep it secret for as long as possible, so everybody can have a nice, long, complex game of Keeping Secrets and Inventing Lies.
8: It is important that you be totally incapable of hearing any mention of your parents' sex life without going into fits of discomfort and embarrassment.
9: Anybody you know getting involved with a sibling of yours is a Big Deal. It is not important if it is positive or negative, or even both within a minute: but it is Very, Very Big Deal, and you have to blow your top.
10: When a loved one or a person you're dating says something that freaks you out, but you can't show it, that is OK, because that person will at that moment remember something (s)he has to do now, leaving you to discuss it with your friends.
11: Seeing somebody in a swimsuit is just like seeing a person. But seeing somebody naked is the most revolting thing that can happen to you.
12: If you get pregnant out of wedlock, your parents will be humiliated beyond belief and will be telling everybody that you are married, or that you are in a mental institution.
13: If you have an important interview, you will do much better than anybody expected, right until the point where it is officially over, when you will let down your guard and say something incredibly stupid.
- stobblehouse
9 comments:
though some of this is true, it's television and they have time limits to make a point. actually if my life was more like a sitcom it'd be a much better world.
less drama and more humor.....and the endings much happier. put me in the bottle with Jeanie and i'll be content lol.
It is important that you be totally incapable of hearing any mention of your parents' sex life without going into fits of discomfort and embarrassment.
would you be interested in hearing about that? not me. some things are taboo. this is one of them.
I think that the "horror" of children being witnesses to sex or porn, would be totally nil and void if sex was not hidden at all. If it wasn't, by the age of three they would be totally bored with it, and have a much healthier life.
I had already mentioned this in the Wizard of Oz discussion, but is seems too few people saw it to ever comment about how brilliant it is (IMHO). It's another type of movie quirks, and a regular roar. Don't miss it twice :
[http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html]
Cellblocks A and B at the bottom continue the list. Seems like the US administration never read #226...
Terry said...
"actually if my life was more like a sitcom it'd be a much better world."
I try to make my home life a "real" sitcom. Near-constant humour in the family is such a pleasant way to live day-to-day! I love to smile. :-)))
And it seems I'm contagious to everybody who becomes my friend. My unfortunate best buddy was such a nice, quiet "good boy" the day we first met. Now, he's frighteningly efficient competition in circular hippism. (That'd be "horsing around".)
"put me in the bottle with Jeanie and i'll be content lol."
Newsflash, Terry : you're NOT the only one who ever had that kind of fantasy!
:-D
"things would definitely improve if people stopped taking everything so damn seriously."
That's exactly the spirit. Everything that doesn't HAVE to be serious can be tackled in a fun way. "Simply because we can".
Since the day my quite sensible parents explained to me the facts of life with no ambiguity (I was around 5, I think), I've known that it's a normal part of married couples, a.k.a. everybody's parents (in the Seventies). As Eolake says, the "taboo" blanket is a double-edged weapon, and its use often requires pressing hard on the blade. As a result, the more one tries to cover up what has no sensible reason to be hushed, the more attention they'll draw to it. Simple manners make it self-obvious that it's a private matter, but a most normal one.
Things didn't exactly get "worse" after I entered Med School, of course.
With time, and on the occasion of a fortuitous discussion, I found out some details about my conception. Namely, that I was not only unplanned, but completely unexpected. There are no "issues" about that subject at home. Because I've always known I was welcomed and loved, so the rest is just anecdotic curiosity. A lot of us were unplanned but loved wholeheartedly nevertheless, that's normal life! And it's a good introduction/example for philosophic discussions about parental love. We have many of those. What with my brother having two adorable little kids now, and some other relatives having a few issues of their own.
So, basically, some details are none of my concern, which is normal. Maybe just a few more details regarding my parents than other couples. But for the rest, we have no special taboos. You wouldn't believe how pleasant it is to live without invisible arbitrary shackles.
But then again, the only notion of "taboo" I have, is that there are some things you cannot talk about in front of some people. I'm something of a heretic in Tabooism. ;-)
eolake said...
"I think that the "horror" of children being witnesses to sex or porn, would be totally nil and void if sex was not hidden at all. If it wasn't, by the age of three they would be totally bored with it, and have a much healthier life. "
I can confirm by my personal childhood experience (even though I didn't actually have access to porn!), because most of my normal curiosity was satisfied thanks to my parents and an educational illustrated article explaining the facts of life. Sex drive is simply one of those things that don't interest children in itself, once their need for knowledge is fulfilled. A bit like politics. They move on to learning about other stuff, and that's that, until puberty. The freudian Latency stage.
"If it is uncomfortable to hear of your [...] parent's sex life then it seems that something is horribly wrong. [...] I can understand the mental images not being the most pleasant, but on the other hand that shouldn't be too much of a hassle to deal with."
TMI (Too Much Information) isn't an imaginary notion. But with normal people, the part that requires discretion (and not just with your parents!) should be self-evident. Children growing up in nudist/naturist milieux (the REAL ones, that have nothing to do with collective swinging) have been proven to be more balanced, and displaying a significantly lower incidence of STDs and unplanned teen pregnancies. They don't watch their parents having sex. They're just used to seeing other people's nudity, and it becomes normal to them. Common. Therefore, they probably won't get themselves in "situations of no-return" simply because they are eaten by curiosity to see what the other gender's body looks like.
As for the mental images, well... if you can't deal with something that God/Nature intended, you have some personal emotional work still awaiting you. Having a taboo phobia about something normal, natural and universal is a textbook case of unresolved repressed issues. Like nearly everybody, my hormonal surges caused some periods of obsessive images. It was a stage, and I crossed it, period. Is urinating or farting a sin, if everybody must and will do it? No. That'd be silly. (And yet, I could name a "very respectable" lady who claimed that well-behaved people -such as her- NEVER pass wind. Until the fateful day when it noisily happened to her in public!)
Transient periods that we all undergo are just the same, except that those who are beyond them sometimes tend to deliberately forget it ever happened. This is how widespread complexes originate.
The fact that whole societies, for centuries, eagerly encouraged such attitudes doesn't disprove me. Do some research about cultural taboos throughout the world, and you'll see how changing and arbitrary they can be.
In the Imba tanzanian ethny, it is taboo for women's skin to come in contact with water. They may drink it, but when they wash it's with cow milk.
In the Inuit (Eskimo) people and several others, it is a normal part of hospitality to offer one's wife/daughter to a traveler for the night. And it's utmostly rude to refuse! Think about it : they're very small communities, and seizing every (often rare) opportunity to increase their genetic pool's diversity is a matter of survival, so by being polite (according to their criteria) you'll be doing them an honest favor.
Ancient Egypt Pharaoes held on to traditional incetuous marriages, to "preserve royal blood", believed to originate from the Gods. It so happens that sometimes, when there are no familial genetic defects, this can actually have surprisingly positive results. Qualities are ALSO liable to get concentrated. (Not that I'd advise anybody to take that kind of chance!)
In the Mongol people, wiping your feet on the doorstep of a yurt is a grave offense : you'd be trampling the home's guardian spirit, which resides at the door. Samely, don't take your hat off inside before being told to : you'd be making assumptions about their hospitality before they express it. VERY insulting.
It's amazing how such a joker as me can bring a discussion about sitcom rules into extremely serious matters. "Hey, I must be less of a goof-off than I thought!" [Recorded laughter is heard]
If it is uncomfortable to hear of your (using your in the general sense here, not singling you out) parent's sex life then it seems that something is horribly wrong.
There's nothing wrong here lucid.
I'm just not into knowing about such things. No offence.
Terry,
"Once, there was a flower and a bee who loved each other very very much. One day, their friend the Stork went into a cabbage patch up in the clouds, and..."
Okay, so if you realize I'm pulling your leg, you know all you need to know. Nobody said you had to ask your parents about details!
But remember this : the need to establish a mental distinction between women you marry and women you have sex with (the traditional mother/whore dichotomy) is a primitive cliché that has doomed an innumerable number of marriages. And counting...
Within the boundaries of sense and reason, SEX IS NORMAL AND NATURAL. If you are a strict believer, just ask yourself why, otherwise, God would have made it an obliged condition for our existence. I don't believe in a sadistic voyeur sicko that would tell us : "sin or die". I'm guessing neither do you.
There's nothing wrong with two people "making love", it's something that's destined to remain intimate, but it is universal. And beautiful. If it is designed to give us one of the greatest natural pleasures we're ever likely to experience, there's probably a reason. Have you ever watched the look on a woman's face just after making love? It's very moving. And pure. It is a necessary part of a couple's love.
Just as it is not meant to be displayed on the public square, but even the most beautiful and clean person has poop in his/her bowels. Including my parents and yours. All you're really asked is to make your peace with the fact that parents are normal people, who happen to have a very unique relationship with their children. A relationship that involves respect, but not lies.
It is this kind of lies that creates the sadly typical macho mentality : "All women are whores. Except Mom." Such appalling ignorance needs to be fought, it brings too much suffering in this world.
"He who fears Truth will resemble a demon." (Andreas)
What about when one's parents become bed-ridden with age? Lebanon is a very conservative country, but many people have to care for one or both of their ageing parents. That means daily basic body hygiene, if you catch my drift. Either you let a total stranger do it, or you may have to change diapers. Which is a bigger priority? Refusing to see certain things, or giving back to your loved ones some of the care they gave you when you were a baby? You don't owe it to them... unless they need it!
Just trying to sort thing out.
Thanks for the echo, LT. Are you sure we're not twins adopted in different countries?
Naah! My parents would've told me. ;o)
Just an added note : "Taboo" comes from the polynesian islands. You can find a hawaiian variant on the little girl's bedroom door sign in Lilo & Stitch: KAPU. (Intended as "no entry".)
It originally means, litterally, "forbidden by religion". Some places are taboo to visit for common mortals, for instance. Some blasphemous gestures too.
It IS ironic that this notion remained nearly identical in western society : "A topic forbidden by religious tradition or norms".
Acts should sometimes be taboo, like the textbook example of incest. But not so for discussing ideas. Communism was taboo in the USSR. Bush's "divine inspiration and motives" are presented as taboo, criticizing them being assimilated to virtual blasphemy. I fear the intentions of those who want me to fear ideas and words. They're usually up to no good, contrarily to what they pretend.
The pedophile priests and recent "pagesgate" spring to mind...
However, I don't agree with the idea that a nude person could be revolting. Just imagine, if we were accustomed in seeing nude people, won't we get used to it and not felt revolting about it?
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